I’m going to be a little vulnerable here for a bit. This is something I tend to struggle with quite often. But I underrate or undervalue myself all the time, especially in my walk with God.
You see, all too often I feel insecure about who I am in Christ. I think it’s because I can’t let go of the idea of who I was before I came to God. I can’t seem to let go of the past, forgive myself, and look to the future. I can’t understand why God would love or forgive me. Especially since I still sin and struggle to this day.
This leaves me struggling to boldly come to God. Why would he want to listen to me? I’m no good. Maybe he doesn’t forgive me? Maybe he doesn’t love me? Maybe I’m not saved after all?
Do you know what these feelings and thoughts cause me to do? Become inactive. God calls me to something, and I hesitate. At times, I hate to admit, I do not act at all. There is someone better for the job. It doesn’t need to be me, it can’t be… I’m no good.
Have you struggled with this before? Maybe, like me, it’s a struggle that tends to reoccur. But here’s the thing. It’s a lie fed to us by the enemy to make sure we stay inactive. We must keep reminding ourselves of the truth.
To help me do so, a friend instructed me to read Ephesians again. I suggest you do the same. Because even though we may already know the truth, sometimes it’s nice to be reminded of it nonetheless. And the first half of Ephesians does just that! While the last half explains how the first half should change our conduct.
First, you were chosen for salvation. You are adopted as his child. You are forgiven and loved! You are saved because of God’s mercy and the love he has for you.
You may ask me, “yes Amanda I know that, but what if I mess it up so bad that I’m no longer saved?” Trust me, I ask myself that question all the time. Here’s what I memorized in answer to that question:
God’s purpose to save you cannot be thwarted. The Holy Spirit in you is a seal confirming that you belong to him.
In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, so that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the Gospel of your salvation. When you believed you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession - to the praise of his glory. - Ephesians 1:11-14
Nothing can separate you from God and his love. Eternal life with Christ remains certain and secure!
As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus so that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. - Ephesians 2:1-10
What a gift this is! And, man, you’re God’s handiwork; a masterpiece! Don’t ever think you’re no good, that others are better than you! Don’t ever fear that God will turn you away. Boldly approach his throne! He’ll listen because he loves you so much! You matter to him. He can use you for his purpose. Will you let him?
Please, read over Ephesians for yourself. Break it into sections and meditate on each part. Cross-reference, pray, dig deeper into it! Do whatever it takes to help remind yourself that Jesus saved you! Nothing can separate you from him. You’re no stranger to God; never was, never will be! He will help you grow, change, become more assured in your salvation, and bolder. Because nothing is too difficult for him and he loves you. Go and spend more time with him. Have a blessed week.