Meaningless, Meaningless

I will be honest, for the last few weeks I have been dealing with feelings of discontentment. There are many things I wish were different in my life. Because nothing has turned out as I planned.

See, I will be 28 years old this year. Two years away from 30, when a woman’s fertility starts to decline and statistically starts getting less attractive to men. I am not married. In fact, I have never been in a relationship before. I don’t have my own house, and I am still living at home with my parents. I am working a part time job (which I do love), but that’s because I am in college full time. Again.

Can you kind of understand why I have been feeling a bit discontent? I want a husband. I want children (I only ever say I don’t to try and comfort myself with the fact I never might). I want my own home. I only wanted to do college once, working as a counselor only to eventually have my husband ask me to become a stay at home wife. I wanted all this by the age of 30. And I don’t see how that’s going to happen in two years.

I have been praying about this though. This feeling of discontentment. I had friends and family praying for me too. And you know what? Prayers are being answered. Because I no longer feel discontent. If anything, I am noticing the blessings. But do you know the biggest thing I’ve learned going through this discontentment?

It’s all meaningless.

Because, no matter if I’m a mom or not. No matter if I’m single or married, living in my own house or my parents. No matter if I’m doing college again… None of it affects what truly matters. That’s being a good and faithful servant.

I want to shine God’s light. He does not have special requirements in order for me to do so. No matter where I’m at in life, no matter what I’m doing, I can love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, and mind. I can love my neighbor as myself.

And with the two greatest commandments in mind, can I ask you something?

How would your life change if you looked at everyone else as being Jesus? I learned this going through my discontentment too.

Like that slow driver in front of you making you late. What if it was Jesus? Maybe then you would think, “oh, there’s a reason he’s going slow.” Instead of getting upset.

What about that chatty co-worker that drains your energy? What if it was Jesus? You’d want to listen then, huh?

That homeless man asking you for money? You wouldn’t hesitate giving it to Jesus, would you?

Here’s one I struggle with, that nit-picky college professor that expects perfection… yeah, if he was Jesus I know he’d expect better from me because he knows I could do better.

Maybe you have that one family member that you dread answering the phone with when they call? If it was Jesus, would you avoid the phone call?

You are passing Jesus…

That person you see in front of you? Try looking at them as if they were Jesus. I’m sure how you would treat them would change. Wouldn’t it? And boom, you are shining His light a little brighter.

No, I’m not discontent anymore. Because no matter where I’m at in life, I can love you like Jesus. God has a plan for me. I don’t know where he’s taking me from here. But I do know along the way I can shine His light. You can too. So lift that head of yours and smile. That discontentment you feel? It’s meaningless anyway.

Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ - Matthew 25:34‭-‬40

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