When You Don’t Know How to Pray for Someone

Have you ever had someone on your heart, but you weren’t sure how to pray for them?

Maybe a friend is struggling. Maybe a family member is going through a difficult season. Maybe someone asks for prayer, and you genuinely want to pray for them, but you don’t know what to say.

I came across a note in the margin of my Bible recently. Years ago, while reading Colossians 1, I wrote:

When you don’t know how to pray for someone, pray for them to:
• Understand God’s will
• Gain spiritual wisdom
• Honor and please God
• Bear good fruit
• Grow in knowledge of God
• Be strengthened with God’s power
• Have endurance and patience
• Be filled with joy
• Give thanks always

Those points came directly from Paul’s prayer in Colossians 1:9-12.

Paul wasn’t praying for comfort, success, or an easier life. Instead, he prayed for something deeper. He prayed for spiritual growth.

He prayed that believers would know God’s will. That they would walk in a manner worthy of the Lord. That they would bear fruit. That they would grow closer to God and be strengthened by His power.

What I love about this prayer is that it gives us direction when we don’t know what else to pray.

When a friend is hurting, we can pray that they would understand God’s will.

When someone is facing a trial, we can pray that God would strengthen them with His power and give them endurance.

When someone feels lost, we can pray that they would grow in their knowledge of God.

When someone is discouraged, we can pray that they would be filled with joy.

These are prayers that go beyond circumstances and reach the heart.

The truth is, we often want God to change someone’s situation. But sometimes God is doing an even greater work by changing the person in the middle of the situation.

So the next time someone comes to mind and you’re not sure how to pray, open to Colossians 1:9-12 and pray Paul’s words over them.

You may not know exactly what they need, but God does.

“For this reason also, since the day we heard this, we haven’t stopped praying for you. We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.” (Colossians 1:9)

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Lord,
Thank You for giving us Your Word and teaching us how to pray. When we don’t know what to ask for, help us to pray according to Your will. Fill the people we love with wisdom, understanding, strength, endurance, joy, and a deeper knowledge of You. Help them walk closely with You and bear fruit that honors You.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen